Brass Hand Oil

Experiments

FORM UM-7 (REV. 4)

COMPLAINT
RECEIVED

Your concern has been noted, categorised, misfiled, and noted again.

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NATURE OF COMPLAINT (be specific; vagueness will be returned unread)

COMMON GRIEVANCES (click to pre-populate):

Processing time: 6–8 business decades. Priority cases: 4–5 business decades.

RECEIVED

ROUTING TO COMMITTEE 7B…

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RE: YOUR COMPLAINT — CASE NO. —

CLASSIFICATION: PENDING

Yours bureaucratically,
J. Morble, Acting Deputy Assistant Sub-Director
Department of Unresolved Matters
Office closed Mondays, Wednesdays, and during existential crises.

RESPONSE BEING READ ALOUD